Writing, as I've shared before, has been a joy as His inspiration has been constant. While I don't know if my technical writing skills can stand up to the task, the journey of learning from His Word this year has been life changing. I love that He's teaching me in the areas I've long felt called to write about.
And then I hit a wall.
I guess it's called writer's block. But in actuality everything I felt I was ready to communicate has suddenly gotten rather confusing to me. Forget writing about it, I've had a hard time understanding it. So it's not exactly writers block, as much as it is a learning block.
I do believe that life is to be lived twice... first we live it and then we write it down, giving voice to help fellow sojourners who may not have the words to give it voice themselves. And so I am stuck in the lesson I'm learning on this first go-round. But happy to be here because each day I learn a little more as I open the Word, turn on the radio, have a conversation, and simply walk with Him.
I think of those months when I wanted to conceive my first child, thinking that I wouldn't be able to have children of my own because I have a couple of diseases that are famous for causing infertility. I was, however, able to conceive. Three times in fact. But now that my children are all here with me on this side of the womb, now that I know their personalities and how our family functions with each one of us, I can't imagine life with any other children had I conceived one of those other months.
Okay, it's a far fetched analogy. But if I push through to "my goals" and get chapters written and books published on my time line, I never would have the product that God is bringing in His timing as He grows me first.
I'm just happy to be walking with Him today. Trusting Him to finish what He's begun in me. Not for the sake of a book, but because I love Him and want to look more like Him at the end of my time here on earth. That's the goal.
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