Thanksgiving Day Hike 2013

It would be a terrible lie to post these joyous pictures without this clause:  When we announced to the children that we were going on a hike last Thursday morning, there were tears; weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.  However, within three minutes of beginning our trek around Lake Hodges in North San Diego County, the boys' hearts nearly exploded with joy, with happiness, and even thanksgiving.  "This is the best hike ever!  Thanks Mom and Dad!"

And thanks be to God, the giver of all good gifts!

 

I absolutely adore all of these photos, because each one carries within its pixels captured moments of happiness, kindness, and brotherly love.  However, this last picture will go down in history in my mothering photo-book.

Hand-binoculurs.

If this had been a video you would see Brody turning his hands just so, as to zoom in.  O my heart.  This Thanksgiving I am thankful for all my beautiful boys.  And while grateful for these pictures, I am more thankful that I have the videos of my memories to relive for years to come.

These were some of the best!

Christmas Prayers

It's been a long time since I used this blog, originally intended to be a newsletter to those who pray for me as I minister to my children and the women God brings me. I am so thankful that you know of my longing to share God's gift of Salvation with my little ones and the ladies whom I speak with, and pray for me when I have needs. Well today I am in need of prayer, and humbly ask you to lift me up.

This weekend I have the honor of speaking at two different Women's Christmas events (Saturday morning and Monday evening) and am not feeling prepared. Matt is gone this week and I am tired and feeling moody and unworthy. I know of course that I am only worthy to be Christ's vessel because I know longer live, but it is Christ who lives and ministers through me as I surrender daily to Him and the Power of His Spirit. But this truth seems elusive to me right now as I struggle, being short tempered with my dear, little ones, and overwhelmed by my home (and possibly my hormones too!) And let us not forget our adversary who would like me to believe I am unfit and disqualified from serving the Lord this Christmas.

Please pray for me, for my heart, that I would carve out the time not just to "work on the talk" but to worship Him. Abiding in Him is the key, I know that, here in my head; pray that it might sink to my heart as I sink down on knees.

honestly,

Wendy

Disqualified?

I've been working on writing a book based on the simple truth that God Calls His people. First He calls us to Faith and then He calls us to specific good works that He created beforehand for us in Christ, that we should walk in them.

Being a rookie book writer I'm learning how difficult this writing gig is. One of the things I'm currently in the throughs of learning is that some parts of the book write themselves, and others take profound amounts of effort on my part. The portions that come easiest for me are the areas I'm most experienced in and knowledgable about. The more difficult chapters are either completely foreign to me, or (as is more often the case) on a topic I struggle with perpetually.

The later reason is currently my challenge. Case in point: One of the the main themes of the book is that we Christians tend to buy into the lie that we can be disqualified to serve God because of our sin. Taken out of ministry because we lack love, get angry, back-slide and wallow in depression at times. We fear we've blown it one too many times to be good enough to be used by God. But our perfection is not the pre-requisite for God to use us, our redemption is. God has redeemed our fallen lives. And our redeemed lives are the means by which He continues to call people to Himself today.

God will not take me out of ministry in my home and with my children, because I've been short on patience and long on selfishness. God has qualified me based on His perfection, not mine. He graciously, daily, hour to hour and moment to moment, is working to transform me into His image as I stay His, stay surrendered, stay repentant, stay available to serving Him in our family and even to the ends of the earth.

Here is my dear husband, just another saved sinner like me, pressing on because God has qualified Him!

walking with my children

We are on Day #8 of our Summer Break. Caleb had a good year. A very good year in 1st grade. But he loves being home, playing with his brothers, not being asked to do anything or go anywhere. He loves his PJs and TV and at 60+ pounds he still delights in the kiddie pool and sprinklers too. I'm so happy for him. And it's amazing to me how dear, obedient, and helpful he is when he's not being pushed so hard.

For the last year he had fought me be at every turn. Get up, get going, get your shoes on, did you hear me ask you to brush your teeth? Where's your bag? Did you forget it by the door? Off we go to baseball, where's your glove? Caleb, it's time to practice piano..." And the motherly harping rings out incessently... But these last days as I've let him be, he's been such a joy. Even when I ask him to take out the trash cans or help Asher get ready for bed there's a softer spirit; the fight is gone. There's nothing like walking into my littlest boys room to find him cuddled up with his biggest brother, reading, "How Does a Dinosaur Say Goodnight?"

In this slowed down pace of Summer it is my desire to walk and not run with my children.

Two scriptures Spring to mind beside my current favorite, Ephesians 2:10. The first is Deuteronomy 11:19, which charges parents to "teach them (the commandments) to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." How I long to simply walk along the way with them this Summer. Not rushing or bossing, but walking and gently instructing them. And Caleb has shown me already this week how soft and subtle and receptive he can be when we walk at a gentle pace.

The second scripture is one I felt challenged to heed a year and a half ago. Acts 28:30-31 tells the story of Paul's time under house arrest. "And he stayed two full years in his own rented quarters, and was welcoming all who came to him, preaching the kingdom of God, and teaching concerning the Lord Jesus Christ with all openness, unhindered."

Paul did not think of his time confined to home as cause to stop the ministry of Jesus Christ through him, instead he preached the kingdom of God with all openness, unhindered to those who came to him. Here in my home my children are ALWAYS coming to me. There are few moments of reprieve each day when one or more of them are not coming to me. But God is asking me to have the same heart as Paul toward these little intruders, to teach them concerning the Lord Jesus Christ.

And so I see my good works, that God has prepared beforehand for me in Jesus, as ones to walk out alongside my little ones this Summer. As the pace is slower, the sun warmer, the flowers sweeter... I will walk with them, with all openness, unhindered.

Single Moms this Mother's Day

I spoke to a room full of moms this morning - single moms who are raising children on their own. Widows and divorcees were joined by military wives and young, unwed mothers at Mission Hills Church, in San Marcos, CA.

I used quite a bit of my talk "Becoming Supermom" which basically looks at how un-super I tend to feel the majority of the time. The talk focuses on a few Super-powers I've had to develop over the years to help me fly out of the pit of my despair. God supplied the levity I had specifically been praying for and the SUPERwomen in our midst laughed and cried many tears as they contributed to the conversation and then shared more about themselves at their individual tables. I really felt that they needed some good discussion times during the talk to form relationships in their community at Mission Hills. There were many ladies who had been invited to todays brunch, who are totally unchurched. And it was obvious (as it was visible on their faces,) that they felt loved this morning. Like I said, what a joy to have been a part of it.

When I was asked to share with this special group, my immediate response was "no"... NO! On so many levels I wanted to say "no." And so I told God, "no." And then I felt a little guilty, so I asked others if they thought I should do it. Finally, of course, I talked to God about it. And instead of telling me "yes, I want you to do this..." He instead told me of His love for these Ladies. And I was challenged to love whom He loves; to feed His sheep; and to minister His care and concern, and the truth of His redemptive love to those He puts before me each and every day. Today these were the Ladies before me.

God has been building in me the redemptive message of this talk over the past few months, as I continue to grow in the knowledge of His power in our weakness. His Gracious exchange of Jesus' life for ours, that we might not only have life forever but also life forgiven here and now, continues to humble and amaze me. And the more I learn to accept it the more I desire to share this miracle love with others. That's what has been happening, even as I long to say "no" along the way for various reasons. I keep learning, and keep hearing from Him, and keep sharing His Word with others. And the result always brings Joy... Joy to others and Joy to my own heart.

Even when feeding His sheep isn't convenient or comfortable, it is always where this Poema finds the good works she was created to walk in.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus

for good works, which God prepared beforehand,

that we should walk in them. - Ephesians 2:10

Pretty please, with a cherry on top

My boys have learned the endearing phrase, "Pretty please, with a cherry on top" from one of their cartoons that they've watched multiple times. They often use it now, and always in the right context. I, however, am taking it completely out of context right now.

You see, this was to by my one night to really put my head down and prepare for my next talk, which happens to be this Saturday morning. Every moment of every day has been so packed and the evenings worst of all, so tonight was my time to see it all come together. Oh, it's all written, I just wanted to go through it a time or two more. "Pretty please, with a cherry on top," has been my prayer.

Only I did not know that the cherry that would top my actual evening would be little Asher's bright red behind. He has spend the past 2 + hours getting out of bed over and over and over and over. At first it was a simple lesson for me to not get frustrated at my little guy just because I had an agenda for my evening. And so I read him books, rocked him extra good, giving extra kisses and hugs and prayers and songs... and still he came out for more, time and again, these past two hours. Finally, now, he is down. And now I have my notes open before me.

But what a reminder that this Mother's Day Brunch for Single Moms, that I'm slated to attend in two days, is going to be chalked full of ladies who are always setting aside their agendas for those of their children. With no one else to shoulder the responsibilities, not just at bedtime but most all the time, these ladies have known many of their own plans thwarted.

It's been my most consistent prayer as I've prepared to share with these women, that God would increase my love for them. And so as I gave up my time of preparation to correct, discipline, and finally just give in to the obvious needs of my little one, I spent my time stroking his hair and praying for the ladies I'm to minister to.

I remember one night, as I was particularly nervous over speaking to a group of ladies, my husband Matt wrote me a text message just moments before I went on stage. He wrote: "love them well."

Tonight's thwarted plans reminded me yet again that the crux of serving God by serving others is to love them well, for God is love. If I bring my perfectly sculpted talk but have not love... I'll just be a clanging cymbal. And who would that benefit?

Joyfully blocked

I've experienced unspeakable joy in much of my life since the beginning of this New Year. There are still trials as a wife and mother, but as a follower of Jesus I've come to know a great hunger for and peace within His Presence.

Writing, as I've shared before, has been a joy as His inspiration has been constant. While I don't know if my technical writing skills can stand up to the task, the journey of learning from His Word this year has been life changing. I love that He's teaching me in the areas I've long felt called to write about.

And then I hit a wall.

I guess it's called writer's block. But in actuality everything I felt I was ready to communicate has suddenly gotten rather confusing to me. Forget writing about it, I've had a hard time understanding it. So it's not exactly writers block, as much as it is a learning block.

I do believe that life is to be lived twice... first we live it and then we write it down, giving voice to help fellow sojourners who may not have the words to give it voice themselves. And so I am stuck in the lesson I'm learning on this first go-round. But happy to be here because each day I learn a little more as I open the Word, turn on the radio, have a conversation, and simply walk with Him.

I think of those months when I wanted to conceive my first child, thinking that I wouldn't be able to have children of my own because I have a couple of diseases that are famous for causing infertility. I was, however, able to conceive. Three times in fact. But now that my children are all here with me on this side of the womb, now that I know their personalities and how our family functions with each one of us, I can't imagine life with any other children had I conceived one of those other months.

Okay, it's a far fetched analogy. But if I push through to "my goals" and get chapters written and books published on my time line, I never would have the product that God is bringing in His timing as He grows me first.

I'm just happy to be walking with Him today. Trusting Him to finish what He's begun in me. Not for the sake of a book, but because I love Him and want to look more like Him at the end of my time here on earth. That's the goal.